BfP:  sir.. puwede po bang humingi ng opinion or advice? haha!

HLY: sige, of course, except on hair growth..

BfP: whahahah! ok sir.. kasi sir, i would like na sanang magchange ng course po. narealize ko na hindi ko talaga gusto ang ECE. gusto kong mag-business course na lang po, kasi gusto kong magpatayo ng sariling business. wise po bang i-stop ko na po ang ece at magchange career?

HLY: hmmm.. hindi mo na ba talaga trip ituloy ang ECE, parang pinipilit mo na lang ang sarili mo?

BfP: hindi na po sana. yes sir, yung hindi na ako interested sa mga projects namin na dapat gusto namin, un.

HLY: first, you have to know that you don’t have to take up a business course to be a good businessman, at maraming graduate ng management ang tambay lang ngayon. So, kung ayaw mo na talaga ng ECE e magshift ka, pero hindi dahil sa magtatayo ka ng business, kundi dahil meaningful and fun sa’yo ang pagkuha ng business course. Pero siguraduhin mo na ayaw mo na talaga ang ECE at hindi dahil sa tinatamad ka lang, hehe. Fourth year ka na, di ba?

BfP: opo.

HLY: hindi ba too late na? it will take you 2 to 3 years more e pag nag-shift ka sa business course.

BfP: yun nga po eh, super late. kaya lang madami naman pong mga projects na hindi ako interested, baka kung magkatrabaho ako, ayoko din sa ginagawa ko. ok lang po sa akin kung additioal 3 years. ganun din naman sa ECE, baka di rin lang ako papasa sa mga subjects ko. lalong lalo na sa board. lol

HLY: siya, shift ka na alud, asap.

BfP: hahahaha! main problem ko lang po sa parents ko, di ko pa sinasabi. sana pagbigyan.

HLY: spoiled ka naman e, papayag yun.. pero paano nga pag di sila pumayag?

BfP: ay hindi din. haha! magdradrama siguro ako. joke! pakita ko yung bagsak kong grade kung magkakaron this term? Haha

HLY: teka, anong major ang kukunin mo?

BfP: pwede ba ung entrep po?

HLY: puwede, ok rin siguro kung marketing..

BfP: ang hirap ng situation, sir, pero I’m determined.

HLY: at least you should be grateful that your family can afford it..

BfP: eto pa pala sir, almost 50% sa amin na 4th year ECE students, ayaw talaga nila ng ECE. so naaawa din ako sa kanila kasi mataas daw expectations ng parents nila.

HLY: kaya nga you are lucky kasi you have the means, walang pressure masyado sa’yo na kumita agad. Be thankful for that. Your parents will understand. Just do them proud later on when you become successful in the field you will embark on.

BfP: oo nga po eh. sir, any tips naman jan kung pano sabihin sa parents ko… hahaha!

HLY: banggitin ko na lang kaya sa article ko sa diyaryo, tapos pabasa mo na lang, haha

BfP: hahahah! ewan ko na lang po kung ano reaksyon. sige sir. thanks so much.
sana payagan. haha!

HLY: papayag yan.. pero ‘wag mo naman sanang ibagsak ang mga subjects mo ha para no choice sila..

BfP: hahahahah! yun din sana balak ko po. eh dun din naman ata patungo.

HLY: good.. ok.. just keep me posted..

BfP: yes ah sir! salamat!

*****

What advice, dear karikna, would you have given Boy from P?

It’s December 30 as I write this, and you would think that I have, as most of you have, gone to over a dozen get-togethers and parties this Holiday Season. You’re right.

And last night, I went to one of the most memorable. It was the first time I attended a reunion with my grade school classmates back at the old Divine Word College of Laoag located at the Cathedral compound.

After graduating from there in 1991, most of my classmates went to DWCL High School. I moved to another. This is the reason I did not get to meet them in a long time. They would constantly hold high school reunions that obviously I am not part of. But we thought this year, as a result of our scant conversations on Facebook, to meet up. The simple but meaningful gathering was graciously hosted by Laurel Paul Mariano who was recently promoted as a Full Lieutenant of the Philippine Navy. His spacious compound somewhere in Laoag’s Barangay Salet, which offered a view of the city’s skyline, was a perfect venue for the event which incidentally marked two decades from our grade school graduation.

There were ten warm bodies, which was not bad, as many of our classmates are either based in Metro Manila or overseas. The attendance sheet: Me, Paul, Bernard Manrique, Ashley dela Cruz, Michael Salud, Excellency Guiang, Laurel Paul Mariano, Juanito Compa, Jose Mari Mata, Angelito Masion, and Leslie Santella. Richie Cavinta, who stayed for one minute, excused himself to do an important task for the fiesta of San Nicolas Town where he works at the munisipio. But we went home at 1:00 a.m., and still no Richie. And no D.A. Bitancor either. D.A. promised to follow when we tried to fetch him at his convenience store. Still, I was really happy to see all of them. In fact, I may already have been bumping with some somewhere, but there are faces I need a while to recognize.

I was excited to go, and it was not, of course, mainly because of SanMig Light which, by now, dear Karikna, you know that I love so much. In fact I could have, as Benard did, just drank water the whole night and still enjoy as much as I did. It was nice to revisit our childhood, remember our teachers (Is Ms. Menor still alive? Did you know that our old crush Ms. Fe Dancel is, to this day, still hot as hell? Where is Mrs. Pasalo?), the corporal punishment still prevalent at that time, our very physical games (Do children today still play bawang base?), the Christmas parties. (Because we had no girl classmates, we had to do the Nativity Scene with a boy Mama Mary. The Ilocos Sentinel publisher Excel Guiang, who now has two kids, was perennially our baby Jesus wrapped in white diapers.)

Ryan Cunanan must have a crocodile’s memory. He remembered two things which I already forgot. First, that I taught Karate to my classmates, and even administered exams for promotion to higher belts. (I really never knew Karate aside from watching my brothers who were doing Taekwondo). And second, that I played priest then and recited the mass for my classmates, complete with communion. (No, I did not collect offerings, the money for the bread and wine I bought from my own money.)

Ours was among the last all-boys batches at Divine, and Paul noted that it was quite a different experience from their high school coed reunions. Indeed, we openly talked about a wide range of topics, including masturbation, fist fights, and even youthful adventures with outlawed substances. I shared that I somehow regret not having tried Marijuana at all, and that I happen to be a strong advocate for the legalization of the weed. I conceded though that it seems too late and irresponsible to try now. When you are young, you somehow have a license to commit mistakes as you explore the world. The only rule is that you be careful so you can live to tell your stories, and the lessons you learned from them, to your children. Two of our batchmates did not have that luck; they went to the Great Beyond ahead of us. We remembered them fondly, though they were not exempted from our outrageous, many times irreverent, recollections of time gone by.

Today, all of us, including me I hope, are productive members of society and strongholds in our respective families. Psychologists contend that a human being’s personality is shaped mainly during childhood. Our school, teachers, and parents must have done something really, really good. And for this we are grateful no end. We thus raised our bottle’s of San MigLight, Excel’s glass of red wine, and Bernard’s pitcher of water to a wonderful childhood we hope we can soon again revisit.

And we did it again.

Ten years ago, I wondered in an essay why this Catholic Nation has produced only one saint so far while Thailand, Japan and China–all non-Christian countries–have more. Maybe, unlike Filipinos, I said then, people from those nations have more sensible things to do than creating miracles by desperately looking for images in the stains of tree trunks and forcing statues to shed bloody tears.

Recently, an image of a woman, believed by many as Mama Mary, reportedly appeared at the midsection of the Laoag City Sinking Bell Tower. With pictures of the ‘apparition’ circulated on Facebook, the phenomenon generated public interest, especially after it was featured on national television evening news.

Make no mistake, I love Mama Mary, and I always turn to her for guidance and protection, but, on a personal level, and with all due respect to anyone who does, I don’t believe the image is extraordinary. The blurry figure is obviously a product of stain and discoloration which any old structure, such as the 400-year old Laoag Bell Tower, would have. You can find stains anywhere and assume them to be something, anything. My friend Luvee from Pagudpud says there are also a lot of stains in their toilet wall, and, as a child, it was her hobby to spot them and identify certain images, some of them religious. Rizal Javier, a retired philosophy professor from Batac, is obviously no longer a child but he still spots some images in their restroom and has actually considered publishing those in his Facebook account. There was one problem though: he does not have a Facebook account.

In half jest, I commended Luvee and Sir Rizal for not circulating those images in the Internet, lest they finds their toilets the next day crowded with both uziseros and devotees, rosaries and cameras in tow. As a child, I remember going with my family to a place in San Nicolas town where a miniature image of Mama Mary was said to appear in a banana tree trunk. Today, I neither remember what I saw nor where exactly that place is, but I do recall that there were donation boxes and candles stores—which are thankfully not present at the Laoag Bell Tower. Well, not yet.

But among the persons who are probably happy about this development is my friend Ianree, the province’s tourism officer. He’s got a new tourist attraction without any effort. It is in best timing that news of the “Mama Mary” sighting spread this month.  It’s Christmas, and my friends say this is the time of year when one cannot overdecorate. The more decors, the better.

But the sighting is not actually new. In an interview with your karikna, Ronald Macatulad, an ace photographer in Ilocos, said he took pictures of the stain formation as early as five years ago. Macatulad explained that while he noticed its semblance to a woman, his reason would say that it is nothing but just a product of the seasons, a result of weathering. He added that has seen a lot of similar images in various places, structures, and things. “When you want to see something, you will see it,” says the lensman who claims that the “Mama Mary” image, seen at a different angle, actually looks like Hitler.

Already, some people claim to have seen other images in the 45-meter bell tower. There are also reported sightings of what looks like the devil in another side of the structure. And what comes next? Doomsayers predict disaster. Optimists await a shower of blessings.

On a professional level though, it is not my job as a sociologist to investigate whether religious miracles are true. It is my task rather to ponder on why people believe in miracles and what effects such phenomena bear on them. Regardless of the veracity of the supposed miracle, what matters more is its effect on people.  Did the bell tower viewers become better human beings and citizens of this country? Did politicians who saw it decide to be less corrupt? Were the priests who witnessed it inspired to become living witnesses of holiness and not of hypocrisy and greed? If yes, then, by all means, let’s expedite the weathering of buildings so they can generate more stains. Otherwise, seeing Mama Mary and not changing our old ways is another awful exercise in split-level spirituality.

But there are real miracles we wish. SM Savemore recently opened in Laoag City. We wish that they would bring in real jobs, not the contractual ones Henry Sy is known to generate, to the detriment of labor, and to the tycoon’s full advantage.

We wish that politicians would not demand their thirty percent S.O.P from government projects so we can have bridges and roads that wouldn’t have cracks at the passage of a matchbox. And motorists wish road constructions would take less than eternity to get finished.

Speaking of structures, we pray that McDonald’s would consider lowering down its golden arch which dominates the entrance of Laoag City. Several meters high, the towering commercial sign is even more noticeable than the Sinking Bell Tower. A lot of well-meaning locals and tourists have been raising this issue but to no good result. May this Mama Mary ‘miracle’ inspire insensitive franchise owners to realize that Laoag City is not McDonald’s City.

We wish that P-Noy would not cut the budget of State Universities and Colleges. We wish, but he cut it anyway, and we feel helpless.

There are real miracles we wish. Miracles that we can make happen. And they are actually easier to spot, though far more difficult to work on, than the blurry image of a woman at the Laoag City Sinking Bell Tower.

But first let me greet Cleng and Karmina. Nope, not Carmina who married the pre-Bebe Gandanghari Rustom Padilla, but Karmina Krenz Fagaragan Undonero who works at the Communication and Media Office of the Ilocos Norte Capitol. She and my dear kumare Clenntroy “Cleng” Guzman Magbual, also from the same office, are among the new breed of government employees striving to make a difference in the service. Efficient, hardworking, honest, and committed, these two women, only in their early twenties, show that there is a bright future for the bureaucracy if we get the right people and provide them with appropriate training.

*****

Now let’s talk about Piolo who continues to trend in social networking sites after her ex-girlfriend KC Concepcion, in an interview with fellow kalbo Boy Abunda, talked about their breakup. Her words were controlled and tempered but they revealed meanings even the dumbest of human beings could get. Facebook and Twitter users made explicit what KC didn’t on national TV: Piolo “Peejay/Papa P” Pascual, Philippines’ phenomenal male heartthrob, is gay.

I should be saying it’s not an issue and that we should leave the man alone. But no, it is an issue, not only because Piolo is a celebrity and thus a public property, but because the beefcake himself made it a sizzling issue.

A few years ago, Piolo Pascual and Sam Milby missed a shot at greatness when they sued Lolit Solis for libel when she insinuated in her column that the two may be lovers. The hunky actors went ballistic over Solis when they could have simply said, “we would not mind being gay, but just that we are not.” Piolo and Sam denounced Solis’ insinuations as if being gay debases human dignity. That incident defined for me how Piolo views homosexuality—that it is shameful, dishonorable, malicious.

The issue of Piolo’s homosexuality died down in recent years, although there are occasional write-ups and blind items about his alleged trysts with actors like Yul Servo, now a Manila councilor, and crooner Mark Bautista who is believed to be the third party in the Piolo-KC romance. But the stir created by the girl’s subtle revelations, I am sure, would leave a permanent dent on Piolo’s persona. To the uninitiated, the next paragraph sums up the megadaughter’s tearful discourse.

“May mga hinahanap ako na napaka-basic lang na hanapin ng isang babae sa isang boyfriend, sa isang lalaki. Ayaw ko na siguro pumunta sa details kasi parang ayaw kong siraan siya…  Let’s just say na lahat talaga kaya ko… Kahit may mga times na hindi ko siya maintindihan, tinanggap ko kasi ang sinasabi sa akin ng mga kaibigan namin na personality niya yun… Kasalanan ko ito kasi pinaglaban ko pa eh. Ginusto ko eh. At saka sobra sobra talaga akong nagtiwala sobra… Parang masyado akong nagbigay ng benefit of the doubt sa lahat… Masakit mang sabihin, hindi ako yung…siguro nag-fail din ako, dahil hindi ako yung kailangan niya sa buhay niya or hindi ako yung hinahanap niya sa buhay niya. And hindi ko mabigay sa kanya yung kailangan niya…”

The real issue here, dear karikna, is not really that a woman would fall in love with a gay man or that a gay man would fall in love with a woman, for we know of many straight-gay relationships that actually work. I have gayer-than-gay friends, back in college and now, who currently live blissful marital lives, and most of them even sired children more than a straight guy would actually father. The issue here, simply put, is Piolo’s deceit.

Gay men have their fare share in the women market. Some girls—tired with the usual boys who could only talk about cars, basketball, and computer games—would fall, in the purest sense of love, even with drag queens who make them feel happy in more ways than sex. These girls fall for homosexual men as the former rightfully see past the gayness and through the wonderful human being brimming with love.

But what love can Piolo give if he cannot even love himself enough by showing his real self to his girlfriend? We are not saying he should do a Bebe Gandanghari, wear a gown, and make many of us cry, though we must fully respect that should he decide to do so. We say that Papa P should at least try not to be contempt of himself, and, in effect, he being a public figure looking at homosexuality as something shameful, be in contempt against all his kapatid. While I do not believe in forcing people out of the closet, for a flower must bloom in its own sweet time, I say this is the best time for Piolo to liberate himself and inspire many others to get out of the dark.

Some years ago, noted literary critic Isagani R. Cruz insinuated in an essay (Bakla ba si Rizal?) that our national hero may be homosexual, to which gay activist J. Neal Garcia wrote a powerful reaction. Applying it in Piolo’s case, Garcia’s point goes this way: In pondering the mystery of whether our nation’s greatest actor was a bakla or not, we have discovered the truth, not so much about Piolo, as ourselves. And what truth is this? It’s simply that we cannot be said to be accepting of the bakla in our midst to the degree that we cannot begin to accept the possibility that someone we have been taught to admire from as early as we can remember, could have been such an awful, awful thing.

 But I beg to disagree. Many look at Piolo today with ridicule and disdain not really because he is gay—for in this age of Vice Ganda, being gay has suddenly become cool—but because he chooses to be, and sadly so–not an emancipated human being–but an awful, awful thing.

Paoay Church Belfry (11/21/2011)

TRIVIA: The three-storey coral stone bell tower which stands to the right of the church served as an observation post in 1896 for the Katipuneros during the Philippine revolution against the Spaniards, and again by the Filipino guerillas during the Japanese occupation in World War II.

According to historians, the bell tower also served as a status symbol for the locals. The bell would ring more loudly and more times during the wedding of a prominent clan that it would during the wedding of the poor.

Source: http://digitaljournal.com/blog/3098